Ride or Die

Ok...before you get all judgemental, let me translate my title for the older crowd..."kids these days" use the phrase "ride or die" to describe a specific type of loyalty. Basically it means, we'll ride through this storm together...or we'll die swimming. When someone describes themselves as loyal, I immediately think they're lying. Call it cynical, judgemental, or just plain rude....I think they're bold-face lying. (Yes, God and I are working on this area in my life, no worries...He knows ALL about it) Why? Because I've seen it WAY too much. And I ask myself so many times, where is the loyalty? I truly believe the main enemy of loyalty is self. Let me explain using "random characters" in a "random church" that my dad "randomly pastored." So, we...um "the church" needed a music minister....desperately. So dad and "the board" started reviewing applications for the position. God was taking our church in a new direction and we needed someone who could handle growth, change and new opportunities. And we found him. Never in my life have I EVER come across ANYONE like this guy....even to this day. He was an AMAZING musician, had an infectious personality and could lead ANYONE to the Throne Room. Dad prayed and prayed and God said "He's the one." Everyone was SO excited....the church, his family and excitement couldn't begin to describe how our own family felt. We were ready to take the city by storm....a united front....or was it? The one detail that was left out of this wonderful equation is the fact that this was a black family. Dad was the first white pastor in town, shoot in our region....to hire a black music minister. Now, you need to understand that my whole life, color has been a non-issue. Racism disgusts me...disgusts my whole family. I never thought twice about having a black music minister on staff....I was actually relieved. Our church was WAY too vanilla for my liking....we needed this...we needed him. God knew it...daddy knew it...everyone knew it...or so we thought. Once he was brought on staff, within six months....dad lost half of his board members....to some, you might say....well, that's only like 6 men....no....that's 6 men and their families. These are families that I'd grown up with, went to kids' camp, sleepovers...their families were like our extended family. It was devastating to me....but it was even more confusing. I didn't understand why someone's skin color could make such an impact. But what I did come to understand, change brings out the best or worst in people. Sweet mercy, I saw some of the worst. I heard things coming out of people's mouths that absolutely made me sick...and these were leaders in the church....of course, chalk it up to just "joking around." But I'm pretty sure God don't like ugly...Proverbs 26:18-19...Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking!”...The question that kept creeping into my thoughts was...where is the loyalty...these men stood with my dad and said, we're with you...come hell or high water, we'll stand behind you...but the INSTANT a decision is made (which they helped make, hello) that gets a little too close to unresolved stuff in their hearts....cockroaches...running from the light. My dad put his reputation on the line for the will of God and the good of our church but these men couldn't see past their own issues. They gave up loyalty for the sake of themselves. My dad had to remain faithful to the call and stand strong even if some of his closest friends left him alone. It hurt him. I knew it. He didn't understand it either. When you depend on people that are close to you and they leave you because it doesn't look or feel right, it cuts deep. Trust is broken...loyalty forsaken. But God...the best remedy for brokeness...worship. And we had some of the BEST times I've EVER experienced worshipping....what could've been seen as something that would split the church in half, ended up bringing us even closer together and God began to move...He moves for the loyal...PKs, if anything...ANYTHING...be LOYAL....your dad needs it...RIDE OR DIE